Anyone who's been to a Ted Nugent concert (or read the opinion page of The Washington Times) in recent years has doubtless heard the rock icon make numerous disparaging remarks about President Obama. What most people don't realize is that this animosity actually has relatively little to do with public policy decisions. It's all about a song and a hard line drawn where compromise would have benefited all.
For many years "the Nuge" has wanted congressional recognition for his classic Wang Dang Sweet Poontang (possibly to replace The Star Spangled Banner as the national anthem - accounts vary widely). He knew he get no help from Michigan's senators Debbie Stabenow and Carl Levin, who he often referred to as "those [expletive deleted]", but when Barack Obama was elected to represent the neighboring state of Illinois in the US Senate he finally had hope.
This was not false hope, as Obama was known to be a big fan of the "Motor City Madman", but what he hadn't reckoned with was how much Michelle Obama disliked that particular song. In any case, during a meeting between the two men harsh words were exchanged when the future President suggested the equally classic Cat Scratch Fever as an alternative. Here again, accounts vary but most independent sources seem to agree that Nugent was pushing his luck with Hussein B (to use the future President's street handle) who was fully capable with putting a crossbow bolt up Nugent's "damn yankee".
Since then, the war of words has been unending, albeit one-sided as President Obama has chosen to take the high road. This schism between two men who each in their own way exemplify American individuality is a true American tragedy, all the more so because it could have been avoided if "the Nuge" had simply been willing to consider Cat Scratch Fever instead.
I am, of course, kidding about all of this.
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