Behold His Mighty Hand

The Ten Commandments is perhaps the greatest bad movie of all time. With such an accomplished cast put in the service of a turgid script and the resources to deliver spectacle on a grand scale, how could it be anything else? What might not be as obvious until you watch it year after year (as I do, thanks to ABC) is that it may also be one of the most anti-Semetic movies ever. Seriously, with the exception of Moses and his right-hand man Joshua, the Jewish people are consistently depicted as a bunch of weak-willed ninnies ready to give up and/or stone Moses the minute things get a bit rough. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if members of the KKK felt it was a bit over the top. However, this epiphany leaves one key question unanswered - will I still watch it next year? Stay tuned.

Blue Jasmine

Though a quarter of a century isn't all that long in historical terms, it's an eternity if pop culture. When Woody Allen made his last great film in the late-80s, it was the era of Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Flash forward to 2013, or 2014 for those of us who have trouble getting to the movies as often as we'd like - we seem to be firmly entrenched in the era of women who are well beyond a nervous breakdown. 

For the past couple years, Clare Danes as Homeland's Carrie Mathison had been the poster child for this condition. Leave it to Woody Allen, the man whose movies we're not supposed to admit we watch - let alone enjoy - to present a new icon for these troubled times. Coming as they do on an annual basis, Allen's movies are easy to take for granted, as this year's model is seldom much better - or worse - than the year before's. Every so often, though, Allen breaks that pattern.

Blue Jasmine is such a film, perhaps his best since Crimes & Misdemeanors, which is to say, perhaps his best ever. Cate Blanchett's performance as a woman walking the tightrope between sense and insanity in Allen's latest movie Blue Jasmine is as astounding as it is harrowing, and Allen's storytelling gives that performance the forum it deserves. This isn't just a matter of clever scripting - Allen the writer, the perennial Oscar nominee, has seldom been in doubt. Rather, this is a movie that reminds you that there's more to Allen the filmmaker than semi-detached portraits of well-off New Yorkers.

At age 78, this is most likely Allen's last great movie, but that doesn't seem like as dour a prospect as it might with other film-makers. 20-some years ago, it was a real question his personal life would derail his work as a filmmaker. By any reasonable measure, Allen has over-delivered. More to the point, he's done so in a way that elevates so many others, such as Cate Blanchett and Sally Hawkins - both nominated for Oscars for their performances in Blue Jasmine. If there's a better argument for ignoring an artist's personal life and letting their work be judged in its own right, I bet Woody Allen could make a pretty good movie about it.

Feeling Gay About Religious Freedom

As much as the various "religious freedom" bills being proposed in state legislatures to allow people and businesses to refuse service based on (supposed) principles bug me, I can't help but think that the opposition to them is missing the forest for the trees. Rather than trying to shame these dumb-asses into backing down, people of good conscience should force them to double down so that they will expose themselves as the vile hypocrites that they are. 

The means I propose is for said people of good conscience to declare support for this law enabling private individuals and businesses to exercise the perverse form of personal liberty it seeks to enshrine if...wait for it...they will drop all efforts to pass laws restricting reproductive rights (and frankly anything else having to do with consensual sex between adults). It's pretty simple, you're either for personal liberty - whatever form it takes - or you're not. You don't get to say I'm for personal liberty except when it involves protecting the rights of a fetus who - by virtue of not having been born yet - has no legal rights yet.

And if they say, they're protecting that fetus because they will have legal rights at some point, they're still vile hypocrites because that's pretty much the same rationale as requiring people to buy health insurance because they'll need it eventually (per the Affordable Care Act). Last I checked, "conservatives" are also opposed to that, so they don't get to have it both ways. In short, either walk the walk or shut your stupid festering mouths you right-wing dickheads! After you've stuck your heads in an un-flushed toilet just used by someone who ate a 12-pack of tacos from Taco Bell, that is.